The Devil Wears Prada

I went to the premiere for the Devil Wears Prada with Fer yesterday. It was different, I tried to enjoy it. But, the whole time I was thinking that I want to be talking to George, It was weird. Why do I do this? Get attached so quickly, emotionally. What if we don't connect physically? What if he doesn't like me? I find myself having these thoughts, but then I find myself wanting to be close to someone too. We are already making plans and everything. Soft ones, but they are plans. I guess I won't lose anything if I go and see what he's like. I could gain something too. Just like with Sergio, it's no different. Here I am waiting to meet someone I am already intimate emotionally with. I think about what Elizabeth said, maybe I just need connection, not a relationship. Maybe I was brought up to think relationships weren't a good thing. I wish I could understand better, but for now I will just try to enjoy it. Then I remember from that podcast, spark isn't connection, it's anxiety. Am I just anxious?

I noticed my arms are a little big, I think I'm gaining weight, Maybe the muscle I am building, or food, or permimenapause. Something is off, I look different. Again, I hope he likes me. 

I'm grateful for...

- Meeting George and the way he makes me feel

- Still having Sergio in my life

- Spending time with Fer

- Family and talking to Marcela yesterday

- Friends I am making here 

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