Attachment

I did it. Again, another man. Another partner. Hope again. When will I ever find the man I am supposed to be with. I thought it was him. I really did. But, it was fast and intense. And that's not love. That's attachment. What did we learn from this? I learned that I can't be with someone with an anxious attachment style or at least one that doesn't think he has it. If someone does and wants to work in it that's one thing, but George didn't. And I feel for him. I did have feelings for him. I don't know if its as love because it was fast, but I did things for love like lend him money and not tell him things to not bother him. That's what I want to talk to Elizabeth about. Why did I do that? Why did I give in, and offer, and please? The lesson here is to not do that. To set boundaries and hold them. I held them. I tried to hold them. That's not the kind of man I want. Period. I am learning to trust my gut. I am learning to act on my gut even when it hurts. Maybe he will come now. Now that I know what I deserve. I am breaking the pattern. Mommy, Omie, Susi, Marcela. Not me. 

I'm grateful for...

- Meeting George and feeling love and what it's like to be loved

- My job even though I've been absent 

- My health physically, mentally and emotionally and hope to recover from this injury soon

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