We Wil Be Okay

He wrote to Patty. That made me sad. Sad for him. He is still not moving on. He's still holding on, But, I need to take care of myself and remember what was breaking me. What would have broke me. Not what he did or din't do. I instantly felt like I should call him, or write him to tell him I was ok. But, then I remembered. I am regulating his emotions again. Even broken up. He can find something else. He will find someone else. I was looking at his eyes yesterday in pictures. He seemed so sweet, and so happy. It made me want to give him a hug. Like a little boy. But, I am not his mom. I don't need to regulate or be there for him. I wanted us to be a couple. I really did. That makes me sad. The future. Th potential. I know this is hurting him. It has to be. But, he will be ok. I will be ok. We will be ok. I don't have to hate him or be angry. I am just sad for him. Sad that we couldn't be what we both hoped for. That's all. That's the feeling I have. Just sad. 

I didn't get Solomon Islands. Kavita did. I would have if she didn't apply. There will be other opportunities soon. For now, enjoy Ecuador as much as you can. 

I'm grateful for...

- The retreat being a success in San Pablo

- My health physically, mentally, and emotionally 

- Patty and how she is behind me in everything, her support with George

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